4.0 KiB
| title | date | score | game_release_year | howlongtobeat_id | howlongtobeat_hrs | game_name | game_developer | game_genre |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Goblin Sword: Not The Sharpest Tool in the Shed | 2024-03-31 | 2 | 2014 | 22753 | 6.6 | Goblin Sword | Gelato Games Ltd | 2D Platformer |
I would not have played this quirky little platformer if it wasn't for my wife's urge to aimlessly scroll through the Nintendo Switch eStore. About $1.5 and three to four hours of mashing the A and X buttons later, I have to reconsider my prejudice against cheap looking mobile games that are ported to home consoles: some of them are actually not half bad. Goblin Sword is one of those.
Goblin Sword is at heart a very simple game: it's a 2D platformer where you wield a sword to make enemy sprites go away, move primarily from left to right to find the exit, and collect gold to upgrade your equipment in the shop. There's your (somewhat clunky) double jump right out of the get-go and the occasional extra power-up provided you manage to find the trinket that activates it, but otherwise, this is a straight eighties/nineties-inspired simple platformer.
The meaty pixels and repetitive sections as visible in the screenshots in this article perhaps give away the rougher edges of the game, that continue to be exposed as soon as you hear the repetitive music or visit the shop that isn't the biggest user-friendly thing ever to scroll through. Nevertheless, the sprite work and animations are more than decent enough. Each weapon bought in the shop comes with a unique powerful move and animation provided you managed to fill the power bar by collecting blue orbs scattered throughout the levels.
Speaking of levels, they're rather dull. You'll be wandering throughout The Usual Suspects™️: woods, castles, caves, cities. Each level houses three secret treasure chests cleverly tucked away, but besides that distraction that failed to properly motivate me to explore, Goblin Sword's the level design is best summarized as forgettable. Yes, there's more verticality than your average SNES platformer, but for a 2020 Switch port of a 2014 game, I was perhaps expecting a bit more, especially if you take into account that one pit is a way to access a secret while another is a bottomless one.
Each world contains both required and optional levels and bosses; enough to keep you grinding for money in case you've got your mind set on that Soul Eater sword in the shop with an attack of 2 and a super-fast speed of 3. Dying doesn't mean losing coin: redoing a level tens of times to keep on earning is possible (except for the three unique treasure chests).
The enemies lurking in the shadows all have a very dumb attack pattern and follow one simple rule: attack on sight. I guess that makes sense for such as game, but as soon as you touch the enemy, you lose a life, and you initially only have three. The hitbox detection is quite unforgivable too. It's not exactly a hard game, but it's not really stimulating me to keep me on the edge of my seat either.
The question then becomes: is it worth it to have Goblin Sword ported to the Switch, or should you buy it on your iPhone and see it as a nice distraction when escaping business meetings at work? I assume the pixel art has been upscaled and cleaned up, but I haven't played the original. For just a few bucks on sale, I can't say we regretted the purchase. You should see Goblin Sword as an early 2000s GBA game on your "mobile" Switch: a bit of pixel nostalgia coupled with simple jump-and-swing mechanics, but nothing much more. It's not a metroidvania. It doesn't even come close to the worst GBA Castlevania. But it's not a bad Looney Tunes port, so keep on swinging that sword!
